Monday, February 6, 2012

THE HYDERABAD-U.P. BUS DUEL!


"Never miss a good fight", I had read. Catch hold of a coke, pop corn and sit there comfortably enjoying the tussle. In fact there was this ad on TV that showed two policemen who enjoyed watching two people on the road fighting it out over a car accident and the senior policemen standing there and instructing his junior to just let it be while sipping a coke like he was at peace with the world. So yeah, coming back to reality, this was just one of those days when I was late for my CAT class( FYI I'm always late due to some reason).

CAT class was merely 4 odd kms away from home, a matter of about 10-15 minutes but the traffic just seems to bloody multiply when you're late and it did just that on that day. So I got into this bus numbered 49M which would get me at least till clock tower and leave me to walk another half km. The bus looked relatively full and I had no time to think of another one so in I went without another thought. Now, this happens to me every time I enter an overcrowded bus that I promise myself never to enter a crowded bus again and I renewed my vows. If one got down, 5 got on board the bus. I stood with all my weight on one foot and the conductor squeezed me like a lemon whenever he passed by. I paid for the tickets and the conductor very smartly wrote 6 behind my ticket because I dint tend the exact change and I cringed(forgot to take a good amount of money from a conductor once in another crowded bus, yet another story). This was his tactics to earn some more, as when the stop came, he'd disappear somewhere ahead as he did eventually, more on that in the end.  

I looked at the watch, it read 5.52.. And I was still a long way from class so I knew I was late and had given up on reaching on time. Meanwhile, I heard some commotion towards the exit gate. Two people were shouting it out at the end and I tried to concentrate on what they were arguing about. And as it so naturally happens, suddenly every soul in the bus went quiet and all the gazes turned automatically towards the exit gates. Now I'd have been disinterested if the argument was in telugu but hindi was their mode of conversation so I was all ears. Apparently, one of the two was blocking the exit and the other got annoyed and leaving behind common sense and decency , the matter was blown out of proportion with the two people shouting at the top of their voices.

What followed would have made anybody's ears bleed. They hurled swears at each other at such a rapid pace, each person improvising and creating new ones as they spoke. What was more interesting to watch were their declarations in between, one of them saying "Main UP ka hun, teri maa behen. . . " what followed was something he'd do to his mother/sisters and the other guy replied in kind "Tu UP ka hai toh main Hyderabadi hu, teri . . . . ", this time involving a body part of his which he'd blast. They kept the show going and the people in the bus looked at them animatedly with a huge grin, like they'd paid for the show. The Hyderabadi got down the bus at the Paradise stop, still arguing. The Hyderabadi challenged the northie saying "Mard hai toh utar aur lad mere sath" to which northie had no response. He blankly added "Time nai hai mere pass" to which the Hyderabadi declared "bas baat karna ata hai tujhe ch*****" . No points for guessing the edited lot. The bus moved ahead slowly and the northie was still quiet. The murmurs in the bus were restored, all discussing and probably debating to who had won. I looked at my watch again, it had been 7 entertaining minutes of swears, slurs and some not so pleasant remarks. The Hyderabadi had won the battle of words(being from the north and seeing the extent of fights there, I was disappointed with the northie) and it would be interesting as to who would have won the physical battle, both looked weak and scrawny. The bus reached clock tower and the conductor had disappeared without giving me back the change, quite understandably. I got down, looked at the ticket one last time, made a ball of it and threw it away.

I dint think about the change that very day, I'd got my money's worth.

Peace!

4 comments:

Marita Abraham said...

This happens in the Delhi Metro all the time. :D

Sahil Kaul said...

Delhi is a haven of all such fights, having spent a good part of my life there, I'm well accustomed to the trend. They are much more liberal with their words and their blows! :P

shravya said...

haha an entertaining one sahil!!
I haven't visited your blog in so many months. It's great to read your stories and peoms again :)

Sahil Kaul said...

And I'm glad that you've read the articles and poems finally but you haven't written in a while! Eagerly waiting for an article from you!