Tuesday, March 27, 2012


We all love facebook and everything about it, don't we, now? The commenting on albums, the status updates, the likes on photos, etc, etc. What works for it is that people have an insight into everyone's life and all the good/bad things you do are duly noted. But with any thing good comes a shit load of crap too. There are always a few things that irritate you about anything good, unintentionally or not. Here are some of the things that irritate me most in particular-

1. The 'thanks for the tag' syndrome:

Or should I say 'thnxxxx fer da tag' syndrome! I never got this. Why do friends tag each other in random pictures in the first place? Not the pictures they are present in, that's acceptable but pictures of gardens, quotes, their own profile pictures, etc. And it's not like these pictures are scientific discoveries of any sort. These are pictures depicting sublime nonsense sometimes if not anything more meaningful than your 3 year old niece drawing a life sketch of you. And why do people thank someone for the tag? It's a mystery to me. Does it add to your bank balance? Give you more marks in exams? If it is courtesy that prompts people to thank the person for tag; sometimes even to her/his profile picture then I rest my case!

2. The profile picture 'like' syndrome:

How much this is prevalent. Everyone wants their profile pictures to be amazing. No matter how amazingly beautiful or strikingly unattractive one might be, the dp or display picture has to be one that might put Brad Pitt to shame! The buffer time is what kills a few people( I think everyone). Don't get it yet? Let me break it down. The time after setting a display picture and waiting for the picture to attain the expected amount of likes is called the buffer time(the lower the expectations, the better). Likes are a symbol of public approval(just like stamps in government offices, only more pleasing and fancy). The profile picture department is one area where the girls rule. Any picture posted may get an insane amount of likes in a few seconds(Guys don't fall back in holding their appreciation. Damn, I'm a guy, I'm approving ;) ) and a guy might yearn for the same support but girls aren't even close to the level of our support. Apart from these, there are some transformers(not the Magnetic flux ones {whaddup physics reference! Btw, I just made a sub-comment if you noticed} the ones like Optimus Prime) inhabiting facebook who post pictures of cars and bikes as their profile pictures! You may also find buildings, dogs, penguins and maybe a million twins of Megan Fox(don't know if that would be twins or mwins, you pick).

3.  Have People freakin' forgotten English?

Whenever I see a community page related to something Indian, let's take for example the Indian Cricket page, there seems to be this strange bread of Indians who have no idea how English is spoken or written for that fact. They write all kinds of non-sense and not one comment makes anynsense no matter how hard one might try to understand. Let me give you an instance- a few of my Indian brothers to celebrate England's 5-0 ODI series whitewash to India stepped on to the English Cricket Board page and wrote all kinds of nonsensical stuff which the English fans obviously didn't understand. To this the English could only say that these illiterate Indians have no other job in the world but to step onto others' pages and brag when their team wins. And to an extent, it did seem like an illiterate had got hold of the computer and typed a code even Robert Langdon would have had trouble deciphering. It was part hindi, part lingo, part abusive, part non-sense. What made me go beserk was the Indian fighting backing with all he had got and using some beautiful swear words implicating the mother-sister of that Englishman that he wouldn't understand in a 100 years to come. Result- *facepalm*

4. Your and You're paradox:

"Your dog is cute" and "You're dog is cute". If people see no difference in the two sentence, well the world is indeed going to end soon to put an end to this misery. You're=you are and your=something that belongs to you. This one makes me go bonkers sometimes. "Bro, your lukn kewl". For once ignore the 'kewl' and look at 'your'. Who taught this guy English, anyway? To re-quote one thing I remember saying-"People should know the difference between your and you're and if you don't know then 'your mad' ". Hope people recall what was taught to them in the primary school or secondary school or learn it for God's sake.

5. The mis-spelt disasters:
There are a few words that shouldn't be messed up. Take for instance cool. It's such a cool 4 letter word in itself. I do not know how much cooler it makes a person to write kewl or kool or cul or wait, is there more to it?? Call a spade a spade, not a spyde or spude. Similar concept. Typos irritate the bejesus out of me. One more word here is 'come'. It is used alternatively as 'cum' and what made me go mad with laughter was this one comment I read somewhere. The comment is self-explanatory. If you still don't follow 'cum' to me, I'll teach you :P.
Here it is- 'cum fast, I've already cum'

Some other random stuff people do that's irritatingly funny-

·         I don't give a shit but I shall wish thou on your birthday
·         I do not know you but I shall add you cuz you're pretty n I'm kewl(kewl with a k).
·         I've had an accident and I shall post pics to show what a hotshot I am.
·         I had a heart break and I shall only post heart-broken songs and statuses.
·         We are in love and we shall show the world, facebook is our world.
·        God gave me a pretty face and people liked and agreed.
·        I shall dedicate a status to the utmost bullshit I did today and expect people to appreciate it.

Well, I might sound like a sick hypocrite right now but I too fall in the top categories somewhere. Reason being- I'm a human who dwells enough on facebook to do a lot of the crap stated above. The above observations have been a result of all the time I've wasted and my extremely inquisitive and contemplative nature when it comes to human psychology. No offence intended to anyone, I come in Peace. Mind your ways before anyone points out and if I do tag you, do "thankkkk me ferrr the taggg", and then again No offence there :P.